17 November 2009

my paper for creative process class tomorrow...


A bold statement to make indeed... but in my mind... the mind of an a.d.d fashion addict whose mind is constantly racing with images thoughts ideas at every moment of every day- it's just another typical idea in a day in my life. So how exactly did i come to this point.. to this bold of an idea? It must have started about 5 years ago when I thoroughly started studying Costume History. At Otis College of Art and Design, Diane Sisco made me fall in love with the ancestry of my art, garb. Learning about the costumes and cultures of all the different costume elements around the world and relating it to what I would notice in our own common society in the form of "trends" fascinated me. I completely engulfed myself in the concept and study of costume history. Each era at each moment around the world, what they wore, why, what the connotations and denotations fed my mind and my soul.
When coming to the 1800s and learning about the dandy and his garment of the now iconic tailcoat is what first sparked my obsession of the tailcoat. Oscar Wilde became my new muse... loving all romantic pieces, delicate lace garb, and all the elegance, opulence and glamour that brought me to a new light in my love of fashion.
Now Alice Cooper brought out my inner bad ass punk rocker side. My rebellious tattooed, pot smoking, rock-star dating inner society "fuck you" in me... my own personal dichotomies within myself. My own personal struggles that I deal with day to day hence the title of my blog "elegantly disheveled" describing myself and who I am, and the name of my clothing line the.PERFECT, the unattainable ideology I have somehow created in my own sick and twisted mind of striving for perfection, something that I refuse to believe isn't real...
Deconstruction of my "concept" I delved into the archetypes of my different characters, the rock-star and the poet- the dark alley and paris, i broke down each one of my archetypes. The Rock-star: confidence, sex appeal, chemistry (sexually), lust. The Poet: the intellectual, eloquent, dandy, well educated, sensitive, emotional,romantic.
The Rock-star's Shadow is narcissistic, conceited, egotistical, emotionally unavailable, unattached, bad boy, untamed/untamable- unattainable, wild card/wild child.
The Poet's shadow, depressed, loner, starving artist, tortured souls.
With our persona it's how we want to be seen, with our ego- it's what we know about ourselves consciously. Our shadow is our dark side of the pschy or the soul, our dark element. the part of ourselves we fail to see, our flaws. Your dirty laundry so to speak, the skeletons in your own does it serve you? Do you see yourself clearly? When we love ourselves or someone else- you love their shadow too.. them for all of their inner demons and flaws as well... we just sometimes push it to the back of our minds as our "deal with it later" side... our denial is sometimes the only thing that gets us through.. for me, denial is the key to my happiness- denial is bliss and I enjoy my bliss and prefer to live in my own fantasyland- Jazzieland, as my friend Jason Ratte once wrote a song about me, and that was the title... (www.myspace.comtreasurecatsxxx) and right now am happy with my rock-star J.P White, the bassist of Vains of Jenna, and can't wait for him to come home.

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