I wish I could ask Toni so many questions right now... that's one of the most honest and vulnerable things I could say or admit. It's really lonely to not have the ability physically to ask her, and just hold her and tell me that it's ok and hold my hand. that's hard. that hurts. but I would be proving her wrong- that I gave up. because she believed in me, believes in me. promised to be there graduation day but we just didn't beat the lymphoma during finals that year. it was hard. I only took off one day- that textile science final. and just used all of the blood that shed from my walking corpse I've become and it's in my art. it may be dark at times, or of pain- disdain... this genius quenched in misery- uncertain I tread this. but fairytales and make believe has always been in my jazzieland. dreams do come true- at a cost at times you may realize you can never buy back... because there's no such thing as money. and the only two things that matter in life- you simply cannot buy them.
love and time
"one approved location jazzie"
that doesn't piss me off
I love you and miss you mom... and believe that you are proud of me and especially taking my "leap" march 18th's week.. Xx jazzie